Two Beautiful Lines: A Fertility Journey // Passion Project Announcement
Growing up in a family with three Reiki Masters gave me an early exposure to the relaxing and healing energy of Reiki. Moving out of state and away from my family reduced the amount of regular reiki treatments I received until I connected with a local practitioner years later. Upon entering the space for my first reiki session with this person, I was met with a practitioner who displayed a kindness and warmth that provided a strong sense of safety, understanding and support. During our session, I had a surprising emotional release when this healer treated my throat and heart chakra areas. I uncontrollably sobbed on the table with this stranger while she somehow offered a knowing insight. After the session, and in the days that followed, I felt lighter and freer than I had in months
About a year after this experience, I was working through some very heavy emotions of heartbreak after an unexpected pregnancy ended. The feelings of grief and sorrow were growing unbearable and I knew I had to find a way to break through the cycle and rebalance my energies. After meditating on clarity and guidance, Reiki was offered as a suggestion. A light bulb went off and I was receptive immediately. The idea of emotional relief and healing for myself through Reiki burned a fire inside and I was compelled to learn how to do this as soon as possible. Additionally, being able to offer healing sessions for others was beyond thrilling to me. I couldn’t wait to learn. The excitement of reading and studying Reiki created a shift that began lifting my spirits and I could feel the healing had already begun.
Around the time I received my first Reiki attunement, with my daily self-practice firmly in place, I had begun officially trying to conceive another baby. At 40 years old. I went to my OB for blood work and an ultrasound determined I had low egg quantity (AMH) and two fibroids. I felt disappointed but wanted to remain positive and keep the hope alive. Month after month, however, I was unsuccessful in receiving a positive result. I unknowingly had embarked on a journey that I would not be able to walk away from. One that I would end up traveling on for the next 26 months of my life and that would turn down roads I never imagined. Despite my age and AMH levels, I wanted to try as many ways to naturally boost my fertility as possible. Over the years, I tried many natural protocols. I took my temperature every morning, attended acupuncture sessions, fertility massages, used castor oil packs, burned fertility candles, gave myself-Reiki, made vision boards, drank Apple Cider Vinegar, ingested Baking Soda, consumed Cayenne Pepper (to keep my uterus warm), preseed, iodine, selenium, grapefruit juice, pineapple core, wore socks, drank red raspberry and dandelion tea, and had an HSG. I loaded up on supplements and vitamins such as Vitex, Maca, Prenatal vitamins, Evening Primrose Oil, CoQ10, Royal Jelly, and used Progesterone.
After a year of not conceiving, I went to a Reproductive Endocrinologist. I walked into the appointment with all of the data I had collected over the past year of how my cycle worked, what natural remedies I was using, and the holistic practices that benefited my mind and spirit. The doctor was uninterested and focused solely on physical obstacles. He shooed away my files and of course, immediately suggested I go straight to IVF because my “eggs were old.” I didn’t feel supported at this clinic and was reluctant to go through such an expensive and invasive procedure where there was not a guarantee of success. My heart told me to remain hopeful, but my mind began playing tricks on me, and fear and panic were creeping into my psyche. What if it will never happen? What if I am too old? What if I am completely infertile? Rather than IVF, I decided to try a less invasive IUI procedure. After closely monitoring my cycle, administering the hormone injectables, and trying to be hopeful and positive during the “two-week wait”, I found out the procedure failed. Obviously, I was disappointed but was also frustrated that the office had made several major mistakes with no remorse. I felt they lacked a caring disposition to my process, and I didn’t feel comfortable investing further in expensive and invasive procedures at this clinic. I felt defeated.
Ironically, the longer my fertility journey carried on, the more connected I felt to my unborn child. I could sense my baby near me. I felt my baby listening to me. My baby and I interacted with each other energetically and we communicated our love to each other. My partner and I believed the universe had our back and wouldn’t deprive us of something we felt and wanted so deeply. Yet, month after month we were unsuccessful.
While all of this was going on, I continued to give myself daily Reiki treatments. Reiki was becoming a bigger part of my life and I was giving treatments out of my spare bedroom and at a local healing center. I was a participating practitioner at a weekend community Reiki offering and went on to receive the Reiki second degree attunement. I began providing distance healing sessions and was absorbing Reiki into my life like a sponge and falling more and more in love with the practice.
A couple of months later, I unexpectedly found a new (amazing!) Reproductive Endocrinologist. This doctor was completely different than the previous doctor. She was empathetic, compassionate, and determined. Because I was losing hope and wanted to move on from the fertility journey (with or without a baby), I was eager to attempt IVF as a last resort. I told the doctor I wanted to start right away and we began the treatments on my next cycle - which happened to be in two days. She must have thought I was a little crazy. But she knew I had been on the journey for a long time and I had done my research and was familiar with the next steps, so we began right away. The results of the treatment were that I had 4 follicles but only retrieved 3 eggs. All 3 fertilized and 1 made it to a 5-day blast. We decided to transfer 2 embryos (knowing one of them may not have been viable). Unfortunately, neither embryo stuck”. The third embryo failed to materialize into a blast. I didn’t respond to the medication protocol, hence no pregnancy. It was over. My journey ended. I was heartbroken. I mentally gave up my dreams of becoming a mother.
After this devastating outcome, my amazing Dr. called to check in on me late on a Friday evening. With a gentle, caring, and determined voice, she told me not to give up because I was too young (!?) (most Dr’s referred to me as geriatric in terms of fertility). She told me to take Acai, DHEA, Myo-Inositol and continue taking CoQ10. I also kept myself on Vitex. But being drained from two years of the entire process, I was reluctant to keep going as I just felt like I could not do it anymore, but a little voice in the back of my mind told me to at least try the supplements and maybe miraculously I would find the will and funds for the second round of IVF. After I hung up with my doctor, I ordered Acai powder and added it to my oatmeal for the next 30 days. I sent a request to the universe that if my baby is to come to me, I would like for it to be easy. Then I let it go. All of it. I started considering a new path for my life. Maybe a new career. Possibly moving abroad. I was excited about my future. And I was happy. On February 4th, 2018, a friend came to my home and I offered her a beautiful Reiki treatment. Love was in the air. I went to bed that evening feeling peaceful. Very early the next morning, I went into the bathroom and something told me to take a pregnancy test. Deep down I already knew. The test confirmed it. Two beautiful dark lines. The month I didn’t try. The month I had zero fertility treatments. The month I didn’t even know when I ovulated. When I look back at the entire journey, I feel what finally led to me conceiving was my consistent Reiki practice coupled with the belief and support from my doctor.
When I gave birth in October of 2019, I used a combination of self Reiki and Hypnobirthing to create a calming relaxation and free of fear during the labor and birth process. The results were so astounding, I knew I had to share this knowledge with other parents. About a year after my daughter was born, I signed up for a course to become a Certified Hypnosis Practitioner and Hypnobirthing Practitioner and Instructor, followed by applying to Cole’s Reiki Master Apprenticeship. I strongly felt the need to use the struggles of my fertility journey experience as a way to help others on a similar path.
One of the ways I intend to use my Reiki is to hold space and provide support to those on a fertility journey. The journey to parenthood can be stressful and full of emotions. My sessions will discuss the future parent’s goals, obstacles, methods they are or have been using, and then use Reiki as a method to relax, release pent-up emotions, re-energize and regain confidence and faith in the fertility process. Sessions can be used for any method of conception from conceiving naturally, IVF, or anything in between. I will blend Reiki with Hypnosis for Fertility, where I will hold space for a person’s imagination to manifest conception followed by the best birthing experience for parents and their babies. Women are the portal between the spiritual realm and physical realm. Sessions may also provide a sacred healing space to connect an unborn child. People may consider that a pregnancy loss or termination is the end, but for some, it is just the beginning.
If you would like to book a session with me, you can find me on Instagram at @jasper_energy_healing or www.jasperenergyhealing.com. I look forward to providing Reiki to future parents, those that are pregnant and/or parenting, as well as for anyone looking to receive the benefits of Reiki.
When my daughter was around 11 months old, I introduced her to meditation and Reiki. Although she wiggled through the session, she allowed me to complete her full front and back while she held a curious smile on her face. When instructed, she brings her hands together in Gassho, then to her forehead for Reijo Ho, and will place her hands over my eyes and elsewhere when I ask her if she would give me Reiki. It has been a joy to share this with her and if she is interested when she is older, I hope to give her the Reiki attunements so she can carry on the family tradition of providing reiki to herself and to others.
Alison Bryson, Reiki Master
Alison’s mission is to blend Reiki with Hypnosis for Fertility, where she will hold space for a person’s imagination to manifest conception followed by the best birthing experience for parents and their babies.