Reiki, Sex, & Healing

Yab Yum

Reiki, Sex & Healing

Written By: Catherine Monzon

Please be advised this article will discuss serious topics like emotional trauma, sex, and masturbation.

Lets talk about 2 of my favorite topics:

Sex and Spirituality.

I find it amusing that in a culture that is so preoccupied with sex behind closed doors, people still clench their pearls and blush when it comes to this intoxicating three-letter word. Something as pleasurable and natural as breathing is still seen as taboo among so many. Many people may sadly even go as far as to see sex as a sinful, shameful, dirty, and profane. Consensual sex is none of these things; it can actually be a powerful tool in healing and manifestation. Here I will discuss my own sexual healing and Reiki’s role in one of the most profound changes in my life.

When I first heard of Reiki, I only envisioned it helping with mental health concerns along with physical ailments because that’s how a mentor first introduced Reiki to me in 2013. I definitely underestimated how holistic this healing modality is. In 2018, I called Reiki into my life in a new and deeper capacity by receiving Reiki attunements 1 through 3, and I have only begun to see all the ways that Reiki moves both through and around me.

Ok so if you don’t know already know, you’re obviously wondering: what is Reiki exactly?

Reiki is a biofield therapy, which is a fancy way of saying holistic energy healing, that uses life force energy (chi/qi/ki) from the universe to aid your body and aura in various ways and encourage it to heal itself. During a Reiki session, a practitioner channels the universal life force energy into their body and transfers it into the client by applying a soft warm touch or hover. The premise behind energy healing is that all physical things, good or bad, are first created in the non-tangible, ethereal world before it turns into matter. Thus, energetic practices, such as Reiki, heal physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual issues at the root: its energetic source.

Different from a regular Reiki session, an attunement is a rite of passage where people are opened to channel Reiki on their own. Attunements come in different levels-varying intensity- where the new practitioners learn how to heal themselves, others, and eventually calling in self-mastery and channeling Reiki into everything we do. After each attunement, the first 21 days are the trickiest while your body becomes accustomed to this new channel of energy and subtle awareness.

I remember the angst I felt during the first 21 days after attunements 1 and 2. My subtle bodies were releasing and mourning parts of my past that I thought I have already worked through. Any small thing could have triggered me and caused me to cry. It’s so easy in NY to “keep it pushin’” and distract yourself completely from coping with unpleasant truths and situations, but now that wasn’t an option. By becoming attuned and calling Reiki into my life in this deeper capacity I was announcing to the universe “Hey, I’m ready for deep soulful healing” which meant I had nowhere to run and hide from this process. No one I could delegate the pain and work of healing to —this was my own burden and it was up to me whether I let the weight of my thoughts and traumas hold me back forever or transcend above the bullshit. My mind, racing at 100mph, I was face-to- face with my emotional baggage. I would replay situations in my head of exes-past, sexual traumas that I’ve endured due to abusive partners, choices I’ve made, feelings and fear of abandonment, and hardest of all: mixed emotions about myself. The process, as with all healing processes, wasn’t easy—yet so worth it.

The more I learned about energy, my body, and began to analyze what was coming up for me, I realized that I was working closest with my first 3 chakras, but that most of my work is sacral-centered. The Sacral chakra, also known as “the seat of your emotions”, is your energy-center for your creativity, pleasure, sexuality, sensuality, and more. Though practicing Reiki I was able to make sense of what my body was experiencing. I was carrying a lot of emotional baggage in my womb (Sacral chakra) for years which manifested into fertility issues (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) and issues with my knees (I’ve dislocated it 4 times). I never imagined these issues would be related but they are. While western medicine gave me birth control pills and a knee brace to “treat” symptoms, I saw little improvement. When I transitioned into natural medicine and began working with this chakra, I saw substantial positive change with these physical conditions. Through acknowledging, processing, and releasing the emotional baggage I was carrying, I am no longer treating the symptoms but making powerful strides in curing the issue itself (I haven’t dislocated my knee in over a year and I regularized my menstrual cycle—Woohoo)!

So how does all of this relate to sex? This is where it gets juicy...

Up until 2 years ago, I had a several years of pure abstinence. I had no idea about the term at the time, but I was somewhat asexual. I rejected sex, masturbation, pornography, and anything related to the topic. The few times I even made some minor attempts to get physical and I wouldn’t be able to; I’d cry and flee the scene. During this time, I harnessed my sexual energy and used it towards art and school; abstinence was very helpful while I was getting my life in order and picking my broken pieces. Although I was partially benefiting from my sex-break, i knew this wasn’t healthy. I knew that my frustrations and emotional outbursts when touched were signs of a deep wound that I wasn’t tending to. At the end of 2017, my dry spell was slowly ending but I still didn’t feel genuine satisfaction from sex.

It wasn’t until after my 1st attunement in January of 2018, something shifted. I didn’t realize it when it was happening, but it feels like something was awoken. I joked with Bae that I don’t know what he did or how he did it but he knew how to play me like an instrument. My body would be shrouded in sensations: tingles, quivers, the shakes, you name it... I thought to myself, “This must be it, the big O everyone talks about. Wow, I’ve been missing out.” Although after my 2nd attunement I endured some temporary depression, my libido was never sacrificed.

Drawing from the artist Ouvra.

Sex became an escape. The highest of highs.

I loved the person I was becoming. I felt so confident, free, sexy, in-tune, electric, alive... I used to shy away from mirrors, and for the first time in my life I would get lost for hours staring into my reflection. I began masturbating for the first time in my life and sometimes even recorded myself for my own visual enjoyment later. I felt so aroused and always ready and not at all because of how my partner made me feel; I was feeling this way about myself. I became my own greatest love affair.

The best part is, eventually when that partnership ended, I didn’t feel like I was losing anything. I was my own source of pleasure, satisfaction, and support.

All of this helped my sense of self worth. I realized that I didn’t have to put up with lying and all types of craziness just to feel some lovin’. Now I don’t feel the need to wait until I see the 10th red flag to cut someone off. I prioritize and speak up about my needs, something I used to be afraid to do. Most importantly, I feel more secure and in control in my decision-making. All of this affects self-esteem and a person who feels sure within themselves can sexually perform better. It becomes less of a performance and more of a pleasurable intuitive offering. To me, sex, even deviant acts, became holy.

Healing myself in this capacity has allowed me to become more aware of my needs and honor them. Tricky enough; as much as I was enjoying this subtle metamorphosis, I still encountered some shame. I didn’t know how to communicate these changes to people without sounding horny and crazy. I began researching and learning about the use of sex as a legitimate form of healing. It wasn’t until a sunrise meditation session that I realized Reiki’s role in my transformation. I reviewed the timeline, and compared how my views and actions towards sex and myself have evolved; it made total sense. None of this would have been capable as smooth as it was without the Reiki healing I was enduring, and I felt overwhelmed with gratitude. I felt so empowered and aligned. The more Reiki and meditation I was practicing the more I released old emotions and came to comprehend deeper truths.

During this time I began to have mental downloads of spiritual teachings, becoming aware my worth, purpose, cognizance of the depths my shadow. It felt even surreal when those around me began to notice something different too; I’ve been told that a certain glow within me has developed, or that my energy is older, womanlier. In Samantha Jones fashion, I say that its all the masturbating (meditating, and Reiki) I’ve been doing and everyone laughs... except it is.

Through Reiki, parts of me that felt empty, hurting, dim, and lacking became whole. It has connected me to my sensuality and inner divine feminine, my source of creation, my innate power. Although this is the last thing I expected, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

May we all get to experience the ecstasy of an orgasm and the bliss of alignment.

Me, Basically.